Hat Check it out

Don’t have Cigarette Girl on DVD yet? Don’t own a DVD player? No worries, so long as you have a steady internet connection all hope is not lost !

Lary Love Dolley as Hat Check Girl , Photo by Don Perry

Lary Love Dolley as Hat Check Girl , Photo by Don Perry

Cigarette Girl (2009) is now available on Google play


and Amazon


and also Vimeo on demand

until then, enjoy this gif


Hot Stuff

In 1980s California, things really “heat up” on the set of a porn film. Sex, drugs & s.h.c.


The Valley 1987

The sun was high when cars started to pull up to the rented mansion in the Valley. The white mansion was surrounded by palm trees . The mansion sat atop a hill that you drove up a winding street to access . Today this mansion would be a pleasure palace. The location for the latest adult video by Screw Entertainment, known for Smashin’ Gash 1 & 2 , Mommy Queerest and Miami Spice. They cranked out videos like a sausage factory dispenses hot links. Everyone who was someone wanted to get signed by Screw. They lived and partied like rock stars. Today would be the debut of the newest Screw starlet. “Black to the Future” would be a high concept erotic production about a time traveling porn star who travels to 1987 from 1965. Platinum haired pale skinned Nadja would play the time traveling porn star. Vanity look a like Dee Luxe and the newest talent on their roster, Jackie Jean, would play her “guides” to the future. 19 year old Roberta Fludd was from a small town in Mississippi, but she had outgrown her country roots . She wanted to do more, see more and be more. She saved up some money from her Dairy Queen job and took the first Greyhound bus to Sunny California. She was dancing at the Lipstick Lounge when a rep for Screw saw her and instantly knew they needed the fresh faced, tight bodied teen on their team. Her look was all grits and gravy when she arrived but a makeover changed that. Her short espresso brown hair was now long honey blond spiral curl extensions like Whitney Houston’s in “I Wanna Dance With Somebody”. Just like that she went from Roberta Fludd to Jackie Jean, sultry Southern belle.
Dee’s whip cream white 1987 Corvette with candy apple red interior pulled into the semi circular driveway facing the diamond shaped pool, Lisa Lisa from Lisa Lisa and the Cult Jam cooed “I think I love you from head to toeeeeee, I knowwww.” from the stereo in the mansion. The camera crew was setting up by the pool. Nadja walked up to the car wearing a silver monokini with silver go go boots, her normally Brigitte Nielsen style cropped platinum hair had been styled like Twiggy’s sideswept pixie . She wore thick black cat eye liner and frosty silver lipstick. She passed Dee what looked like a cigarette but actually was a joint. She ignored Roberta.
” Do you have any coke?”
“None for you.”
“Bitch!” Nadja playfully pouts.
“Calm your cunt.” Dee says coolly and pulls out a vial from between her breasts.
Nadja took the vial , twisted the cap off, tapped some onto the web of skin between her thumb and pointed finger then snorted it off. A very tall man with a full on Tom Selleck mustache , aviators and a muscle shirt appears from the rear of the mansion. It was Freaky Franky, award winning smut director for Screw Entertainment.
“Just the sluts I want to see!” He chuckled heartily at his own remark. “There’s the fresh meat!”
He reaches out to Roberta and puts his arm around her, pulling her close like a brother would.
“Jackie this is Nadja, superstar super cunt, but a delight to work with just the same. You’ve met Dee. You girls will be like sisters by the time this is all over with.”
“One big happy incestuous family.” Nadja snaps back and flashes a megawatt smile bright enough to be on a Colgate commercial.
Roberta nervously gives a gap toothed grin. She goes to shake hands but Nadja waves instead.
Freaky Franky continues “We’re shooting the double dildo scene by the pool first. Jackie, you’ll do solo then we move inside for the threesome.”
He takes a toke from the joint and passes it to Robertta. She sucks smoke and tries to smoothly inhale like the others but instead ends up coughing and sputtering like a ’67 Studebaker on its last legs. The others laugh. Dee takes the joint , passes it to Nadja then heads towards the mansion. Roberta follows Dee’s lead. The open doors lead to a lavish marble floored living room with modern white leather furniture. A Patrick Nagel lithograph adorns one wall. On another wall a built in high definition stereo system blasts George Michael’s “I Want Your Sex”. The weed kicks in as Roberta stands soaking in the luxury. She wondered the price of it all. ” Come on Pollyanna, make up is this way.” Dee slapped her butt and she snapped from the daze. Dee lead her into the spacious kitchen area which had been set up like a makeshift studio and dressing room. A woman with a hot pink mohawk was introduced as Dixie, Dix for short, the stylist. Dee sits down and Dix goes to work. Dee changes into the teddy and stilettos after Dix finishes with her. Then goes up the spiral staircase. Roberta takes her place in the chair. Dix starts to clean Roberta’s face. Roberta is so nervous, her heart races and she grips the armrests of the chair.
Dix steps back and says “Calm down, I ain’t the one you should be worried about biting you.”
Roberta looks panicked for a moment and then Dix says “Relax baby doll, I’m only kidding.”
“Oh, you had me worried there.” Roberta said, her deep fried Southern twang echoing off the kitchen walls.
” Where you from, Texas?”
” Etteilla, Mississippi.”
“Detroit,Michigan. Is this your first shoot?”
Roberta nods as Dix paints her face.
“They’re sweethearts, Nadja’s bark is worse than her bite, she’s a pussy cat in a leopard print coat”
Dee makes her way back down the staircase. She starts rummaging in a black bag that sits on the counter. Dee digs until she pulls out a pink toy Easter egg which she opens and coke spills onto the counter. She scoops her nail in and sniffs up what she pulls out. She dips again and puts her nail under Roberta’s nose. She snorts and a bitter taste crawls down her throat. Dix fixed Roberta’s hair. Prince sings about rocket ships exploding and everyone still wanting to fly on Sign o’ the Times.
Dix says “Put on the white teddy and white stilettos.”
Roberta got dressed in the kitchen. The coke made her whole body buzz and found herself dancing to the music. Dix and Dee did lines on the counter. Roberta mouthed the words to the Prince song.
“Jackie, the bathroom is the first door on the left up the stairs, douche and come back down.”
Up the stairs she found the bathroom with ease. Black and white marble all over, shower big enough for 3. There was a basket of unopened boxes of Summer’s Eve on the counter. For some reason that made her chuckle, was it the pot or the coke, either way, she was feeling good. The white satin teddy with matching lace trim clung to her taut brown body. She found herself sniffing a lot and wondered if that would continue through the shoot. She blew herself a kiss with glossy lips then winked , she noticed white flecks lining her nostrils that she brushed away. She thought she saw her fingers glow. She stared at her hand. How high am I she thought. A sudden rush of heat makes her lightheaded. The floor vibrates as Ratt’s “Body Talk” starts. Did someone turn on the heat she wondered ? Curls of smoke rise from beneath her breast, her breath comes fast as she pats her chest. Her face contorts in terror. The lace on the teddy curls as it is singed. She gasps for air. Dancing orange flames rise up from her arms. Her thighs start to burn from the inside out, revealing yellow fat then red and white raw muscle. Her mass of honey blond curls ignite in one loud poof. She tries to scream but only swallows flames. She flails around wildly as fire envelops her torso. Her stilettos slide on the slick marble floor. She loses her footing and tumbles backwards into the glass shower door. The force of her body slamming backwards shatters the shower door. Shards of glass rain down upon her flame engulfed body. Freaky Franky kicks in the door, along with Nadja and Dee looking over his shoulder. The sickly sweet sulfurous smell of burnt flesh, fat and hair hits them first, then they see her. The shower door is broken, and in the shower lays a sooty outline of a female form. The only trace left of “Jackie Jean” was part of one leg from the ankle down, her foot still in a white stiletto. Franky grabs his mouth and retches violently. Nadja and Dee scream loudly. Dix backs away, mouth open in shock. Ratt blares loudly; “You make my body talk/When you’re next to me…”

A Vampire’s Guide To New Orleans




Steven P. Unger


I wrote this article on New Orleans as an homage to one of my favorite cities, one still fresh in my mind and heart after a long-postponed revisit there as an invitee to the Vampire Film Festival’s Midsummer Nightmare last year.

All of the photos in this article are my own, except for the portrait of the Compte de St. Germain and the two pictures otherwise credited.  Most of the text is a compendium of others’ words and research.  With apologies to anyone I may have inadvertently left out, my online research for this chapter led me to articles from hubpages.com; Kalila K. Smith (whose Vampire Tour I can recommend from personal experience—see http://www.zoominfo.com/p/Kalila-Smith/178024410); New Orleans Ghosts.com; GO NOLA; Brian Harrison; Haunted Shreveport Bossier.com; and Frommers.com.  I’ve borrowed freely from all of these sources and recommend them highly to those…

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